Abuse in a marriage can rear its ugly head in a lot of ways. From emotionally abusing someone by calling names and degrading them to physically harming someone, all of these can be grounds for a divorce in most states. One thing that tends to go hand in hand with abuse is overt control, which in itself is a form of emotional abuse.
However, divorcing an abusive, controlling husband can be one of the toughest situations a woman will ever face. He is bound to lash out when you decide you want a divorce, and in some cases, you can be in physical danger. Here are a few things to expect when divorcing a husband who is abusive and controlling towards you.
Expect the situation to escalate once you decide you want to get a divorce.
Abusers often abuse for a few reasons, and one of those reasons is they believe they need to have control over the marriage. You deciding that you want to get a divorce is, in their mind, going against their control. Therefore, simply stating that you want a divorce could rouse a violent situation or extreme reaction. It is because of this fact that sometimes it is best to get out of the situation by leaving your partner before you initiate the divorce process.
Expect the authorities to be involved on some level.
There are going to be situations as an abused spouse when you need protection or assistance when you are separating your life from an abusive partner. You may have to call the authorities if:
- you need to return to your shared home to retrieve your things
- you are afraid of retaliation because you have left your shared home
- you need protection while you are leaving your home the first time
For many women who have been abused, they have kept the abuse a secret, so asking for assistance from the authorities can be really tough and feel shameful. It is important to keep your safety in mind and understand you are not your abuser, so there is nothing for you to be ashamed of because you need help.
Expect court proceedings to be a little quicker.
Because domestic violence is such a major issue, many states have taken the initiative to make divorce as seamless and easy as possible in these situations. Therefore, when you leave, talk to local divorce attorneys, and go through the court proceedings, everything will likely happen at a pretty fast pace.